Unlocking the 16 Secrets to What Really Motivates You
What really motivates you? Psychological research shows there are sixteen universal desires that drive all human behavior, from power and independence to family and tranquility.
In this episode of The BIGG Success Show, we explore these motivations, inspired by Dr. Steven Reiss’ book Who Am I? The 16 Basic Desires That Motivate Our Actions and Define Our Personalities.
You’ll discover how to rank your own motivations, evaluate whether your life aligns with them, and take steps to act on what matters most.
Takeaways:
- Understanding your core motivations is crucial for achieving true happiness and fulfillment in life.
- Dr. Stephen Reese identified 16 basic desires that shape our actions and define our personalities.
- Finding and fulfilling your calling is essential to attain inner peace and feel like a success.
- Ranking your motivations can help you align your daily actions with your core values and desires.
BIGG Highlights
[00:12] Exploring Identity
[01:30] Exploring the 16 Motivations Behind Our Actions
[03:19] Exploring Human Motivations
[04:08] Basic Motivations: A Deep Dive
[05:13] Exploring the 16 Basic Motivations
[07:39] Understanding Motivation and Fulfillment
Links referenced in this episode:
Transcript
Welcome to the BIGG Success show. Today we ask, what motivates you?
BIGG Voice Over Guy:BIGG success with the professor and Mary-Lynn.
George:Who am I? Boy, that's a question people have asked since the beginning of time, I think. Who am I?
You know, it's just that basic metaphysical kind of question. And so this show actually was inspired by a book with the title Who Am I? The 16 Basic Desires That Motivate Our Actions and Define Our Personalities.
It's written by the late, great Dr. Stephen Reiss.
Mary-Lynn:Dr. Reiss found that happiness and life satisfaction come from a sense that our lives have meaning and fulfill a larger purpose. He calls this value based happiness. And he has defined 16 universal desires that drive all meaningful behavior.
George:Now, BIGG success, of course, is defined, defined by us, I should say defined as inner peace, which flows from three sources. Finding and fulfilling your calling, striving daily to reach your full potential, and staying true to your vision and values.
Almost forgot that third one, Mary-Lynn. Oh, you staying true to your vision and values.
Mary-Lynn:That is a spectacular definition of BIGG success, if I might say so myself. And if you don't have a sense of inner peace, you're not going to feel like a BIGG success.
And you won't have inner peace if you don't find and fulfill your calling. If you don't strive to reach your full potential, if you don't stay true to your vision and values.
George:Now, in order to do these things, you need to understand the motivations underlying your actions.
Mary-Lynn:Today we're going to look at 16 motivations. Number one is power.
George:Now, I think a lot of people when we hear the word power, we immediately flinch. Right? I mean, I don't want to be a powerful person. Right. But what we're really talking about here is the desire to influence people, to be a leader.
That is kind of playing to that power motivation.
Mary-Lynn:Right. That doesn't mean trying to have power over people.
George:Correct.
Mary-Lynn:Number two is curiosity.
George:Real simple one. Right. It's just the desire for knowledge, kind of the why? Sort of like that childlike nature.
Mary-Lynn:Number three, independence.
George:The desire to be autonomous, to not be dependent on something or someone.
Mary-Lynn:Number four, status.
George:That's pretty easy, right? The desire for social status, including desire for attention.
Mary-Lynn:Sometimes the importance of social status actually causes unhappiness.
George:Yes, that's true.
Mary-Lynn:To be careful there. Number five, social contact.
George:Yeah, that's just the desire for peer companionship, the desire to play, the desire to have a place to belong, the desire to have people who we feel like we belong with.
Mary-Lynn:The sixth basic motivation is, is vengeance. That doesn't sound so good.
George:Right. Because we think of vengeance as the desire to break or to get even. Right. I almost said break even. That's another show. Exactly.
Mary-Lynn:And that just, you know, that grips at your heart, that prevents you from having a happy life.
George:Well, but the thing is, keep in mind these. These are psychologists, and so they. They sort of define things maybe a little differently than we might.
So vengeance also includes that desire to compete, that desire to win. You know, somehow we would call that. I would call that more like validation. But they're.
Mary-Lynn:They're lumping competitiveness.
George:Yes, they're lumping that in under vengeance.
Mary-Lynn:Okay. Number seven. Honor.
George:Yeah. The desire to obey a traditional moral code. You know, to stick with your values. Hey, that sounds familiar. Staying true to your values. Yes, it does.
Mary-Lynn:Number eight is idealism.
George:Yeah. That desire to improve society. So justice, altruism, you know, giving, sharing, that kind of stuff.
Mary-Lynn:Number nine, physical exercise. Wait a minute. I don't have that desire.
George:You don't have that?
Mary-Lynn:Unfortunately, I'm working on that.
George:The desire isn't the problem. It's the next step.
Mary-Lynn:Yeah, that's it.
George:But the thing is, it's this desire to exercise our muscles, I think, exercise our minds to some extent, but just be healthy.
Mary-Lynn:Number 10, romance.
George:Yeah. I mean, courting is the desire for a significant other.
Mary-Lynn:We're talking about basic motivations here. Number 11 is family.
George:Yeah. The desire to, you know, be. Be involved with somebody and raise one's own children.
Mary-Lynn:Number 12 is order.
George:This is the one that's toughest. Right. Order. The desire to organize, to be organized, to kind of have rituals.
Mary-Lynn:Number 13. Eating or motivated to eat.
George:I mean, you have to be motivated to eat at some point, don't you? That's what I thought was kind of comical looking at this list. But it's just that desire to eat is how they define it.
Mary-Lynn:I'm extra motivated to eat when there's pizza on the menu. But anyway. All right. Number 14. Acceptance.
George:We all. We. A lot of people face this. I mean, we all to some degree, want to be like other people's approval. Right, right.
Mary-Lynn:Number 15, tranquility.
George:Yeah. This. The desire to avoid anxiety, fear. You know, I think this kind of plays to that inner peace that we talk about with BIGG success.
Mary-Lynn:And the 16th basic motivation, according to Dr. Reiss.
George:Drumroll, please.
Mary-Lynn:Is saving.
George:Yeah, Just the desire to live frugally. That, you know, we value that. That we value the ability to collect things. That's savings.
Mary-Lynn:We're talking today about motivation. More specifically, the 16 basic motivations. Now, we're ready to talk about what to do with them. It involves three steps.
Mary-Lynn:Professor, what's step number one?
George:Rank the basic desires. So these 16 desires rank them from most important, make that a one, all the way down to the least important. That's a 16.
Mary-Lynn:Step number two is to look at your rankings for consistency with your life.
George:Yeah.
So if you catch what we've done, we've just ranked them right now we're going to look at our and think about our life and how we're living with our top priorities. And we're going to see how congruent are we, how in sync are we, how harmonious are we. So which desires rank high on your list?
Does your life reflect that you're comparing kind of the desired desires versus the real world results?
Mary-Lynn:Okay, can we break this down into some examples?
George:You certainly, Mary-Lynn. Of course we can.
Mary-Lynn:I like the examples. Helps me get going.
George:So let's just say that social contact is important to you. So ask yourself this question. Do I work in an environment that allows for companionship? If so, yeah. Yeah.
Actually, if so, we'll take that up with the next step.
Mary-Lynn:All right.
George:Another example would be if independence is important, are you in a work environment that encourages individuality or is it all about the team? You know, both those things are good, but with a person who values independence, it's going to be more important than a person who values acceptance.
A third example is. Let's go back to the power one.
Mary-Lynn:Okay. Let's say you do have you like that. The Professor likes that powerful role.
George:It's the first one. And I also think it's one of the two that could kind of come across as negative. Like the eating one is just kind of like just to be kind of weird.
Right. But I mean, I know it's something we have to do. And I suppose, you know, if you're starving, eating is going to be a major motivator. Right.
We just don't happen to be in that place. But I think that power and vengeance are two that we kind of look at in a negative way. So let's take power.
Let's say you have a high desire for power. Well, in our earlier example, we asked the question, are you on track for management? Well, let's just say the answer is yes. Great.
Then you should be motivated to keep pushing. But let's say it's no. Well, then ask yourself the question, how do I get on track for management?
Understanding what motivates you and then acting on that information is going to give you a greater sense of meaning and fulfillment. I don't care how you define it. That's BIGG success.
Mary-Lynn:That is some pretty powerful stuff there. And if you found this show helpful, would you share it with your friends?
We'd really appreciate you helping us get the word out about what we have to offer here at BIGG Success.
BIGG Voice Over Guy:And thanks to you listening today, we feel more motivated.
Mary-Lynn:To keep on podcasting! And until next time...
George & Mary-Lynn:Here's to your BIGG success.
BIGG Voice Over Guy:Find BIGG success@BIGGgsuccess.com.
